Break Ke Baad (After the Break)

Oh, no, not the movie. I was just talking about me! I am back after a break. A break in course of which I attended a workshop, realized the futility of life, did no blogging, got depressed after managing to alienate people close to me, and of course, did nothing to improve my slacking schedule. If, however, you expected me to talk about the Deepika Padukone – Imran Khan starrer patheticness called Break ke Baad the movie, then well, look no further, The Vigil Idiot has  got his awesome review out. Take a look:

So… where was I? Yes. Making new beginnings.

Another exam result with the inevitable feeling of doom came and went. I bombed in an exam to enter the nation’s premier medical education center, something like a Mecca for me. Predictably enough, I was too bummed out thereafter to be able to whack out any meaning out of life, until the Attending in charge of my unit at my hospital shoved me, literally, into attending an international conference in Critical Care Medicine. Of course, a lot of the discussions went way over my head and I sat there, listening in silence while the specialists presented their stuff. I was awed, of course, and at the same time, realized that there was no point in getting morose and settling for stuff in life I did not fancy.

Prior to my entry into this unit, I was always gunning for Internal Medicine. In fact, working under an Intensivist has actually made me more earnest in going for Internal Medicine. In no other field, I believe, can one fully visualize the whole human body in its entirety and appreciate the marvelous wonder that it is. Anyways. This three day conference helped me get over my post-results blues in quite a paradoxical manner by showing me how little I know!

So, now my eyes are set on the next big thing ahead and I am supposed to rush headlong into working towards achieving the end. As a part of that, I have decided that everyday, I will study a bit of that Bible of Medicine (at our levels, at least), The Harrison’s Internal Medicine book (and I am planning to start off with Infectious Diseases). I know, a lot of people will say that studying that tome of Medicine is a waste of time as far as examinations are concerned, because, the information to intelligence transit time for that particular book is awfully long. It is hard to read, hard to memorize, hard to digest and of course, hard to keep going at. But right now, I am all “looking at the bigger picture” where knowledge is of paramount importance, and sort of trusting that the examination results will follow. So, from today onwards, everyday, before going to bed, I am supposed to study a few pages of Harrison and hopefully, remember that. So, one can expect me to write more about the stuff I am reading from now onwards. I know, I need a life, but yeah, whatever, this is my wild fantasy of fun!

That and the fact that I have probably managed to push away another person from coming too close to me. That the person also was not too interested (apparently) in hanging on to the fragile vestige of a relationship that was building up like cobwebs in a neglected attic corner, also helped substantially.

And well, that sucks, but I guess my thing is messed up relationships. If there is one that that I am awesome at, it is messing up perfectly workable relationships. But life is a bi-ya-atch and we are often to blame for it. Too sketchy? Whatever! 😉

So, now, from today on, life is taking a new turn. For better or for worse, there are going to be changes and I need to accept them and adapt to them. And hopefully, after the next big exam, I need not be typing such morose, soporific, monologues. So, till the next time I have something more substantial to say: toodle-oo!