Things I Wanna Do, But Ostensibly Won’t: SURFING

OK, so I admit, I watched the trashy movie Blue Crush, and this is a bit of a hangover of the same, but I must say, I wish I could do some surfing! The movie was absolutely crap, no doubts about it, but WHOA, Wikipedia claims that it managed to rake in a neat profit of almost 80% of its investment! But, that said, I loved it. Cute guys, HAWT bikini clad gals, super sexy sport, sun, sand, beach, what’s not to like, eh?


Now, coming to the reason why I don’t think I can do it: at least in the foreseeable future.

First, I am an awful swimmer. I mean, I can manage to breast-stroke (the swim thing, bro’) and stay afloat and not die, but given the fact that I start huffing like a steam engine running up hill after ten breast strokes is ample evidence to the fact that I cannot manage to go surfing unless I manage to get my Functional Residual Capacity up!

Second, I stay waayyy inland. The nearest coastline is, I dunno, a few THOUSAND clicks away! Not conducive to surfing, mate!

Third, well, I would rather die than flaunt my michelin man abs wearing those swimming shorts or trunks or nut-huggers or whatevers. Until I lose my love handles I have to put public undressing down to a minimum.

Fourth, I need Kate Bosworth to train me. Seriously. (or someone else who is as gawkworthy in a bikini!)


Sigh. If wishes were horses, then, well, you know how the rest goes (if you don’t, go, Google it. Or get a life…).

Skeptic Oslerphile. PhD Student in the Department of International Health at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. Past: 1) Public Health Scientist and Program Manager, Translational Global Health Policy Research Cell, Department of Health Research, Ministry of Health and Family Welfare, Government of India. 2) Scientist, Indian Council of Medical Research, National Institute of Cholera and Enteric Diseases; 3) Senior Research Associate, Public Health Foundation of India. Interests include: Emerging Infections, Public Health, Antimicrobial Resistance, One Health and Zoonoses, Diarrheal Diseases, Medical Education, Medical History, Open Access, Healthcare Social Media and Health2.0. Opinions are my own!

1 comment on “Things I Wanna Do, But Ostensibly Won’t: SURFING

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