Things I Wanna Do, But Ostensibly Won’t: SURFING

OK, so I admit, I watched the trashy movie Blue Crush, and this is a bit of a hangover of the same, but I must say, I wish I could do some surfing! The movie was absolutely crap, no doubts about it, but WHOA, Wikipedia claims that it managed to rake in a neat profit of almost 80% of its investment! But, that said, I loved it. Cute guys, HAWT bikini clad gals, super sexy sport, sun, sand, beach, what’s not to like, eh?


Now, coming to the reason why I don’t think I can do it: at least in the foreseeable future.

First, I am an awful swimmer. I mean, I can manage to breast-stroke (the swim thing, bro’) and stay afloat and not die, but given the fact that I start huffing like a steam engine running up hill after ten breast strokes is ample evidence to the fact that I cannot manage to go surfing unless I manage to get my Functional Residual Capacity up!

Second, I stay waayyy inland. The nearest coastline is, I dunno, a few THOUSAND clicks away! Not conducive to surfing, mate!

Third, well, I would rather die than flaunt my michelin man abs wearing those swimming shorts or trunks or nut-huggers or whatevers. Until I lose my love handles I have to put public undressing down to a minimum.

Fourth, I need Kate Bosworth to train me. Seriously. (or someone else who is as gawkworthy in a bikini!)


Sigh. If wishes were horses, then, well, you know how the rest goes (if you don’t, go, Google it. Or get a life…).

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