OK. Maybe its not that bad, but the puns that can be made are just mind numbingly numerous!

I must say I am no great fan of music lyrics (be it Bollywood, Hollywood, Indie artists, whatever) going round nowadays but even by my low standards of expectations, the lyrics of the following song has shocked me:

 

If you clicked to see the video, you just played your part in taking it one click closer to the most viewed video of Youtube of all times. Yes, the lyrics are THAT bad!

I should be analyzing the video and the lyrics because they are not just bad but also rather disturbing on several levels. But I think there has been enough people ridiculing the poor girl already. So let me show some support for this artist. So let me see what she has got going in her favor:

• She’s pretty. That counts for a lot in the entertainment business nowadays.
• She’s got a decent voice: I know, her son’s been heavily auto tuned and her Fridays sound more like Fried eggs, but then again, her voice isn’t the worst, she can make good.
• She needs to get a good lyricist: songwriting is apparently not as easy as most people would think it to be.
• She’s FAMOUS! She comes out with any damn thing now, she sells them like hot cake. Point in view: she is trending on Twitter. The Youtube servers are creaking under the weight of people queuing up to dislike her video. She topped the top 100 list on iTunes. Guess that makes her rich. REALLY rich.
• She has shown good sense of business in latching onto the tide and riding it high. She could have easily quelled it by taking the video off youtube and vanishing from the face of earth, (which would have failed given the atrociously poor lyrics of the song: someone, somewhere would be downloading it “just in case”) but she stuck to her guns and now she is a major headliner. Even the Tsunami waves had to wreck major havoc to get decent air time thanks to the stiff competition she put up.

Well, I always thought that Justin Bieber was an over-hyped talent but I must say although I am not a fan, Bieber has serious talent. This poor girl may not quite be in his league but thanks to how much her songwriters suck, she is famous! And to us unbeliebers, this comes as fair warning that Bieber fever is not the worst thing that could have happened to us. Black plague can be worse!

Anyways, some people who actually seem to be quite talented latched on to the opportunity that this fiasco presented with and came up with LOLsome remixes like this guy, who scares us a little in the beginning, but hear him out, his lyrics are to die for!

 

Or this pretty lass who mashes Baby and Friday and creates pure tympanic tyranny:

But although everyone is up in arms making fun of poor li’l Black, what about established artists getting away with pure bull excrement like this?

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
In the back and in the front (lumps)
My lovin’ got you!
My Hump, Black Eyed Peas

So, in my book, Rebecca Black, you are just (un)lucky enough to be the one that the whole world decided to pick on and bully. You should take inspiration from the fact that people with more ludicrous lyrics have gotten real famous and popular. No reason for you to stop now young lady! Keep ‘em coming.

Now my problem is I can’t get this eerie music out of my head. It continues to play inside my head, in an infinite, nasal, twangy loop, and all it says is “Fraaayd-egg, Fraaayd-edd”. Someone tell me what to do?